Waiting.....

Waiting.....
"MO.... MO....... MOOOOORE"
- Ollie is frantically throwing her hands together yelling MO!!! and then rubbing her chest in a circle -
She is trying to say More and sign More please. This has been a long time coming... we waited and waited for her to talk. She wouldn't speak... Now she is speaking some, but doing it loudly!
We waited and waited and now we wonder... why?! haha..

She has may leaps and bounds of improvement since her speech and development testing. She has been going to speech therapy twice a week and can officially say OR sign: more, please, sorry, thank you, blue, purple, bubble, wow, whoa, Dada, mama... and lots of animal sounds.

Charley just turned 1 and the day before her birthday she started saying bye- bye.... which is a lot sooner than Ollie spoke. Everyone has their own timing.

In life we spend so much time waiting. It starts from the beginning, some people wait for the "right one". We wait for our wedding day.... when that perfect woman or man becomes yours forever!!!!

or we wait for the miracle of life to occur (others, like us have no problem with that!). Then you wait 9 long months for the bundle of joy to arrive. Or you wait for the ultrasound to find out if it's a girl or a boy.

Or like a little kid waiting for SANTA to visit!!!!

Or faithful pups waiting for their Master to come home!

I've waited those 9 months to become a mom... I waited as a newlywed for my husband to come home from Iraq seven long months... I waited as a mom of two for my husband to return again! I waited yet AGAIN a year for my husband to return... I'm pretty sure I have this waiting thing down... yet again our family is waiting on something...... drum roll please!

We've been praying and working and waiting on something for awhile now... and I'm going to announce it here for those who don't know.... we've been waiting on confirmation of plans to become surrogates. Yes, after being pregnant four times already... I'm willing to farm out my body so another couple can experience parenthood.... so they can experience that miracle of life we talked about earlier. It's something we've toyed around with for awhile... it came back into our life almost right after Charley was born... the process has been a longer one. I thought for sure it wasn't in the plans for us but things have worked out in God's perfect timing. We began the process back in the Fall by a phone interview. We had to locate all of the medical records needed (3 different hospitals... lol). With Joe's insurance and new job we were waiting on what insurance I would be covered by.... and now with Joe starting work on the 17th a phone call today from the agency was just what I needed to confirm where we are at. In the next few weeks I have to go in to Chicago for a few tests.. it's making it more real in our minds!

For those of you new to the surrogacy progress.. I would carry someone elses fertilized embryo in my body... we have specific people we are looking for, just like there are prospective parents out there searching for a specific surrogate. Each side has a say in who they want carrying for them or who they want to carry for. How many they want to carry, etc.... Right now we are just beginning the process.... that hurry up and wait process!!!

We are used to that, military life and all. All it is... is Hurry up and Wait!!!

My body is a temple... my body is not my own. If it is not my own than I want to worship God with my body... I want to volunteer it in any way I can! I want to let someone else experience the wonderful years I have had as a parent. If tomorrow isn't guaranteed, then I want to do everything I can do today to help someone else out!

Just asking for prayers in this waiting process.... whatever it looks like and God's perfect timing!

Crazy...

Today marks the first day of Girl Scout Cookie Sales... it is a crazy time of my life. Between order taking for my own kids... and then the orders of 20 OTHER little Daisies... keeping money straight, inputting them in the computer to make whole boxes, our gift of caring project for the Children's Hospital. We also have a powderpuff pinewood derby this month for Girl Scouts, and will be doing cookie booths at the end of February and March. Along with that, for swimming, we have another day of stroke clinics for swimming, and a few more swim meets to train for. BayLeigh's basketball season started a few weeks ago, so she has practices and gets to play a few games for that. Joe begins his NEW job (Praise the LORD!) this week/next week! Both older girls begin dance again this month after a month off.

YUP welcome to the silly silo... Some days I feel like I am swirling and whirling around and the floor drops out from under me.... good thing I am sucked to the walls!

God Grant me the Serenity...

Most of us know the Serenity prayer, or at least bits and parts of it.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change; courage
to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

I had a great heart to heart with Emery, my five year old, soon to be six. Her good friend Alanna just moved away today, and her heart was kind of hurting. During the goodbyes she stayed mainly silent, gave a few hugs and said goodbye. Alanna cried and showed her emotions, but Emery acted, well sort of embarrassed by it all. I watched her the rest of the day and evening and at bed time she came downstairs into my bed and crawled in it. She, you see, is a lot like her momma. We put on that strong front around people we feel are vulnerable, or need someone to stay strong in their life. When we are alone, we are left to struggle with our emotions. She started to ask questions, and let me know what was on her heart.





Let me tell you, I am NO expert on explaining change to a five year old, nor to a fifty-five year old! I most definatly struggled for words at time during our conversation. But, it made me realize a few things and heal my own heart in a way.





I reflected on my life, and where I would be if I didn't accept the changes in my life. If I held on to the past, and not the future. I have had some pretty monumental changes in my life. My life changed after I moved from my parents house out on my own. My life changed after I got pregnant with BayLeigh. My life changed when I married a deploying Marine. Mly life changed when I had a baby while my husband was in Iraq. My life changed when I uprooted everything I knew and moved to California. Life changed again when he came back and this small family of two was now three, and I had another parent to rely on for our daughter. My life changed when three became four and we were struggling financially. My life changed when Joe deployed again, and I had two to take care of. My life changed when we moved on base housing and I met a whole new circle of friends. My life changed when my friend and neighbor lost her husband to the War on Terror. My life changed when we said our goodbyes, and left the gates of Twentynine Palms one last time, no longer Marine and Marine Corps wife, but former. *Pause*





I took that moment. That painful yet exciting, gutwrenching, heart beating quickly, moment in my life. I tried to explain it to her. I explained how God brings change into our life to make us who we are. One day she'll remember this day, this feeling, this experience and be able to either help another through it, or she'll see why it needed to happen to make her who she is. I explained how moving effected our family, allowing growth, and new experiences and opportunities. We had to say goodbye to so many friends who became the family we didn't have out there. Friends who we shared SO many memories and holidays with. Friends who became so close it still brings me to tears writing this post. We said goodbye, and let go... and now I see what it made room for. All the things that came from that move back here. We are in an amazing church now, all because of the daycare our children started to attend HERE. We have great relationships with our family, because we are HERE. We have wonderful friendships that wouldn't have occured if we were still there. We have so many things that came with this fork in the road, this option, this change that we have so much to be thankful for in the wake of sadness. God might close a door on something in life. He may say no, or not yet because He has something better in store. God loves us each individually. We are His children! I love my child, and hurt for her through this, but I know God is smiling down and saying there is so much more that will come from this!


Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

The Crab life

I was reading an article discussing the book Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosake. In his book he told about Hawaiian black crabs, he isn't the only one who has talked about crab mentality but it reminded me of a few things.

If you go down to the beach early in the morning you can find black crabs. You can gather them in a bucket and continue down the beach for more. Now those crabs start thinking "We are bumping around in this little bucket and not going anywhere." Eventually one crab will look up and think "There's a whole new world up there. There has got to be more than this. If I can just get my foot over the edge I can get out and get my freedom and see the world as it is." So he stretches up reaches a little and sure enough he is right there on the edge, but just as he is about to tip the balance and make the plunge towards freedom a crab from the bottom of the bucket reaches up and pulls him back down. Instead of encouraging him and helping each other to freedom, they pull anyone attempting back down into
the bucket that leads them to death.

Corinthians 15:33 says that "Bad company corrupts good character"

Unfortunately, the crab story is all too common in our world. There are black crabs out there who can't see the bigger picture, who are inside the box thinkers (or in this case, bucket). Those who are ready to ridicule or shoot down any idea that would change things. Those that believe in themselves not in an almighty God.

I have been reflecting on the last few years. Our lives and circles have changed dramatically. All for the better, I believe. We are now surrounded by peers who love us for US. Who encourage us, reassure us, love us, and want to grow with us. It doesn't mean you have to cross people off your list and not talk to them again... but be that positive light and don't let anyone pull you back down from what you can potentially be. I have to remind myself that every day.

Potential

In the wake of the morning after Christmas (madness and MESS) , I was cleaning up the aftermath and realized a few things.... thought I would share them with you.

I shared last night with family that I am a gift bag, tissue paper Nazi. I admit it, if I see gift bags getting ready to be pitched... I save them. If I see good tissue paper going to waste, I hoard it! The way I see it, I am the hero in this situation... I am merely a treasure hunter. Do you REALIZE how much gift bags and tissue paper cost now a days??? Apparently my husband does not!!!

I took a few pictures of Santa's Workshop- this is a room in the corner of our basement. I don't think the girls even know about this room. You have to go through our bedroom, through the laundry room, into the boiler room, into the cat litter room, and then into the workshop. During November and December, Santa resides here with his elves. But during the remainder of the year it is my gift room. (Well Christmas decorations also stay in this room :)) I have it organized by celebration; Birthdays (girl birthdays and then a unisex section), New Babies, Valentines Day, I even have a few Easter things. The next thing I want to add to this room is an endless supply of gift cards! I also have a few random presents that we can give at the next occasion. I honestly think it's quite ingenious, Joseph believes it is not (Scrooge)!

So, as I was bringing things out to the curb for the poor garbage men to take (see above), I saw a few treasures that Joe thought he could get away with killing... Does he not REALIZE the Potential of these bags?! Here is just ONE of the many things I rescued and that are now taking refuge in my workshop.

potential- adj

1po·ten·tial adj \pə-ˈten(t)-shəl\Definition of POTENTIAL1: existing in possibility : capable of development into actuality 2: expressing possibility; specifically: of, relating to, or constituting a verb phrase expressing possibility, liberty, or power by the use of an auxiliary with the infinitive of the verb (as in “it may rain”) — po·ten·tial·ly \

potential -noun

1 a: something that can develop or become actual

2 2 a: any of various functions from which the intensity or the velocity at any point in a field may be readily calculated b: the work required to move a unit positive charge from a reference point (as at infinity) to a point in question

In Exodus we meet Moses... he was a baby that was saved by a princess. Later, God appeared to him as a burning bush and when he realized it was the Lord he covered his face in fear. (Ex 3:6) God chose him to lead his people. Moses went from fearing God, to complaining, protesting, and making excuses as to why he wasn't a good choice. Moses doubted not only himself, but God! He asked God to show him signs, to give him abilities to show the people. He lacked faith. God even allowed his brother to help him in this amazingly honorable journey. During their exodus, Moses became an amazing man of God. He grew more faithful and more obedient to God's word and demands. But Moses was human, and when the people complained about being thirsty (when didn't they complain really?(Numbers 20)) He and his brother Aaron went before God and God instructed them to gather the people and speak over a rock, God would then make water stream from the rock. Whether it was lack of faith or lack of obedience Moses only half obeyed. He gathered the people, but instead of speaking over the rock he used the staff God gave him and struck it. This disobedience led to his mark- not reaching is FULL potential! God intended for Moses to lead his people into the promise land. But due to his lack of faith and disobedience God spoke to them and said "Because you did not trust me enough to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them!" Numbers 20:12 Yes! The SAME man who delivered the Ten Commandments, who spoke and said You must love the Lord your God, with all your heart with all your soul and with all your strength. Deut 6:5 Hand picked by God himself, and he still sinned, still faltered, still fell a little bit short. I am not pointing this out to say it's hopeless that we are all doomed. I am pointing this out because his story is one we need to learn from. We need to have endless FAITH, we need to be obedient. Here comes that POTENTIAL word again- because in Deut 34 God says to Moses "This is the land I promised... LATER in verse 7 we read: Moses was 120 years old when he died (yes very old... but read the next part careful) yet his eyesight was clear, and he was as strong as ever. That's not sad because he died , I mean he was a pretty ripe old age, it's sad because he never reached his true -potential. He died with spunk and spark still in him, he was almost to the finish line but his disobedience and lack of faith kept him from his POTENTIAL! Instead, Joshua got to swoop in and lead the people in. Joshua who's name was barely mentioned before he got his own book in the bible. Moses went from hiding his face in fear of God as the burning bush to lacking that fear. We are meant to fear yet love God. We are made for a purpose and the only way to fulfill that purpose and reach our true potential is to LOVE God faithfully and obediently!

Did you know that you can iron out the wrinkles in tissue paper??? You can with a little help from a damp kitchen towel.... ;) amazing! Now I'm not as crazy as you think I am... or did I just prove to be crazier??!

Now as for the true potential of my wrapping papers, well I can see myself using them for years! Find ways to maximize YOUR potential :)

Disinfect

..... the flu bug has wreaked it's havoc among the Brewcrew...

it has traveled from Joe to BayLeigh last week... then to Ollie on Monday, Charley on Tuesday and Emery on Wednesday... and it's Thursday.... I'm holding strong still!!!

I am a momma armed with some disinfectant, scrubbing wipes, and constant hand washing.

The flu in a way reminds me of SIN...

The flu or sin, left unchecked... can wreak havoc in your life. Effecting not only YOU, but your friends and family. It spreads like a wildfire hurting everyone in it's path.

It is up to us to disinfect, wash hands, and take all precautions to prevent it from happening to us! We're not all perfect and not all precautions can keep the flu bug away, but we can try to stop it's spread the best way we possibly can.

Like a simple wound- we need to clean, disinfect, and prevent infection or spreading.

When we sin- we have done wrong, we need to get our life cleaned up right away. We need to repent (disinfect) and turn away from our sin, focus on God and healing, protect yourself by getting in God's word and in relationship with Him. Otherwise, our sin will spread and infect our whole body, our group of friends, our family.

The flu/sins happens to all of us! We are NOT perfect... and no matter what we do sometimes that thought... that bug... gets to us. The only thing we can do is our part at preventing the spread... turn away and repent! Because He is a loving God full of mercy and grace.

In 1 John 1:9 it says

But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us of all wickedness.

Needless to say we are doing a LOT of disinfecting in the Brewer house...

Last years Christmas was spent with Joe deployed, myself VERY pregnant, and the three girls and I super duper sick with the flu bug... that will NOT be happening this year! Hope you all are fairing better then we are and stay away until the bugs leave our home :) Merry Christmas all!!! 3 days left!

Our Snowbuddy

The Elf on the Shelf book was gifted to us by my mother in law Pam a couple weeks ago... let me tell you a little bit about our Elf...

According to the book, the Elf is a guest in our home watching over the children and noting any good or bad behavior that Santa might need in making his list. The Elf magicly flies back to the North Pole every night to report to Santa, returning in the morning and finding another location to perch on. The kids are not allowed to touch the elf because his magic may rub off. The elf will not speak to the children but will listen, it can speak to adults though. You are to promptly name your elf- in this case ours is

SNOW BUDDY

Here are some of his adventures so far!

Snow Buddy apparently missed the snow of the North Pole and pretended it was here in our kitchen...





He looks pretty guilty to me!!!

The girls absolutely thought it was crazy that our elf was naughty!!

More naughty Snow Buddy Tricks!

Riding the donkey!

Took down all the stockings and replaced them with underwear!!! Eww! At least they were clean ones!

Oh Snow Buddy What's next?!

Wow...

Starting fresh again-

I have done a HORRIBLE job at this blogging thing... but that's it! I am starting fresh..... I am getting a second chance... because let's face it, everyone is entitled to one or two or twelve!

Thanks all.. I will try harder at this :)

Thank you Lord...

One word....

AMAZING

February... picture time!

Ollie really hammed it up for her 3 months pictures... Wow how time flies! The girls got some special sister and best friend time and got to squeeze into the photo opt too in their new Easter dresses. Enjoy!

Motherhood

"For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world."- William Ross Wallace




I have been called a lot of things in my life.. but my favorite is Mommy.



NOUN
moth·er[ múthər ]
moth·ers plural

1. female parent: a woman who has a child, or a female animal that has produced young
2. woman acting as parent: a woman who acts as the parent of a child to whom she has not given birth
3. originator: a woman regarded as the creator, instigator, or founder of something
4. origin of something: the cause, source, or origin of something
"Necessity is the mother of invention."
5. protector: something that protects and nourishes like a mother
6. good or bad example of something: something very big, good, bad, or extreme, or particularly noteworthy in some other way ( slang ) ( sometimes considered offensive )
"a real mother of a headache"


TRANSITIVE VERB
moth·ered past and past participle
moth·er·ing present participle
moth·ers 3rd person present singular

1. take care somebody with tenderness: to look after somebody with great care and affection, sometimes to an excessive degree


2. give birth to baby: to give birth to and bring up a baby
3. bring something about: to give rise to something
[ Old English modor < Indo-European ]

NOUN
moth·er·hood
at your mother's knee in early childhood
every mother's son every man or boy (dated)

Thesaurus
NOUN
Synonyms: ma, mom, mommy, mama, mamma, mammy, momma, mum, mummy, mam, mater
Synonyms: mam, mama, mamma, mom, momma, mommy, mum, mummy, mammy
Synonyms: mama, mom, momma, mam, mommy, mamma, mummy, mum, mammy
Synonyms: mammy, mam, mom, mama, momma, mamma, mommy, mum
Synonyms: mum, mommy, mummy, mama, momma, ma, mammy, mamma, mammie, mom
Synonyms: mummy, mum, mammy, mama, mommy, mom

VERB
Synonyms: look after, care for, protect, nurse, tend, cherish, pamper, cosset, nurture, raise, rear, mind


VERB
Antonyms: neglect





"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." PROVERBS 22:6


Reflecting on motherhood and references to mothers in the bible-
Eve, who experienced the loss of one child (Abel) to her other son's hands (Cain). This was over jealousy?? It hurts me when one of my girls hurts her sister- or get jealous of the love and affection I show the other child. I can't imagine how Eve felt to lose her son this way.

Then there is Sarah- She was to be the Mother of Nations and the mother of a great heritage- but in fact was without child well into old age... who wanted so badly to be a mother. She was granted the gift of motherhood by God when she delivered Isaac. She doubted God at first even laughed at the notion of her ever being able to conceive... but he gave her the gift of child and it IS a gift that some people take for granted.

Then you have Rebekah, Isaac's wife... Isaac favored one son (Esau-the manlier), while Rebekah I assume favored the other to make up for Isaac's lack (Jacob). I have felt that torn and rift as well, trying to divide your love in two or three or make up for little things here and there... Love for your children is unwavering.. undeniable.



The pain Mary must have felt watching Jesus die on the cross for us all... what a mother!

There is also other mothers well worth noting- Hannah and Rachel who died in childbirth.. Moses' mother Jochebed who hid him and kept him alive by pretending NOT to be his mother... how HARD that must have been. Sacrifices we make for our children!

These mothers were examples for their children and examples for us. I try to learn from each one of their stories, struggles, and sacrifices.




So thank you to my Mother for being a wonderful mom... and to my girls for making me a Mother :)

New Email!

NEW email address for the family is brewcrew10@mediacombb.net this is the one we'll be checking most often!!! Happy Sending!!! I don't mind GOOD forwards, annoying ones- not so much!

4 YEARS? What?! Happy Birthday Emery

Happy 4th Birthday EMERY!




Emery Dancing on her 1st Birthday!



With Joe turning 26.... and now Emery is turning 4?! Time really has flown. It seems like it was just yesterday I was peeing on a stick and saying how did that happen?? haha... I know.. that's one way to put it. We had so much fun doing a scavenger/treasure hunt to notify the family of the news of Emery's impending arrival. Four years ago TODAY I was getting out of the car in California with Joe getting ready to go on another one of our rigorous walks trying to induce labor. My water had already broken- unbeknownst to myself (i had NO idea.. lol) still went for that long power walk- went home and realized yep it was my water- I didn't pee my pants... then headed to the hospital. Got some pitocin around 9... waited forever for the epidural that never came and then she blessed us with her presence at 3:01 am on the 30th. 6.35 lbs of beauty! Emery Azalea Brewer.... Joe was there to witness her birth and cut the cord... and she was such a tiny thing (all the nurses adored her because she was so petit!!!!! She went on her first airplane ride four days later :) to visit all her family in Illinois...

















We were going through our computer last night and came across all these old photos and video in honor of Emery's Birthday I thought I'd share some of hers. (I'll post them tonight when I get home) Now at 4 years old she loves Unicorns and Dragons... and lip gloss.. Barbie and her my little ponies... her rocks (I am not sure why..) she's a little clepto always pocketing things from Nanas to add to her junk at home... she barely fits in size 3 pants after just finally graduating out of 2T's... she looks a lot like Cindy Lou Who... loves dance class and Taylor Swift... enjoys carrying around Sebastien (the only cat out of the 4 she can sorta pick up.... She loves singing and dancing... Mama Mia and the Electric Company and now can't wait for her pink poodle birthday party tomorrow. She adores her sisters and is constantly telling us she loves us.. what a sweet girl she is growing up to be! Couldn't be prouder..

My One Word- Understanding

http://myoneword.org/

"If you’re like most people, each January goes something like this: You choose a problematic behavior that has plagued you for years and vow to reverse it. In fact, you can probably think of two or three undesirable habits—make that four or five.

Thus begins the litany of imperfections to be perfected, commonly known as New Year’s Resolutions. All of which are typically off your radar by February."

Our resolutions seldom work because they focus on the type of person we want to become rather than who God wants us to be. Many people do not see God at work in their lives simply because they don’t know what to look for. So, what if our hopes for the year centered on who God wanted us to become instead?

It’s okay to want to be a better you—and the New Year is a natural time to start. The question is, how? My One Word replaces broken promises with a vision for real change. When you choose a single word, you have a single focus. You are moving toward the future rather than swearing off the past.

With My One Word, you’re right where God wants you: in His hands. And it’s not an extreme makeover we’re talking about. This year, the goal is to see His work in one area of your life.

I did my homework.. here is my scratch pad

As three things: a mother, a wife, and a christian

Mother-
patience, understanding, give my time and energy, soothing, comforting, calming, forgiving, worthy, fun, strong, loving


Wife
loving, forgiving, trustworthy, honest, friend, understanding, strong, thoughtful, caring, partner


Christian
open minded, willing to learn, faith, hopeful, trusting, understanding, devoted, testifying, daily life,


The word that popped up into each is UNDERSTANDING so there it is for you all to see and keep me in check- 2010 I am going to be UNDERSTANDING so help me God

BayLeigh Dancing

Bay's Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer